


Okay

by philsdrill



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic, Panic Attacks, Phan - Freeform, Phan Fluff, Phandom - Freeform, Phanficton, crowds, phan fic, phanfic, phanfluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philsdrill/pseuds/philsdrill
Summary: Phil isn’t good with crowds and gets into a state of panic as he and Dan get caught up in one at a YouTube event.





	Okay

**Author's Note:**

> If you happen to have read this before, I posted this in May 2017 on tumblr. Also if anyone's interested in following me on tumblr - I'm more active on there and there's more fics - you can find me at [philsdrill](https://philsdrill.tumblr.com).

**Dan’s POV:**

I looked to both sides and saw that there wasn’t much choice other than pushing through the crowd before us. Phil visibly paled as he realised this, and moved a half step closer to me.

“We’re going to have to go through this,” I said to Phil, a grim expression on my face as I knew he wasn’t good with crowds, “Stay close by my side, and if you need to, then take my hand.”

“Okay,” Phil said, sounding rather nervous.

Making sure Phil was with me, I pushed forwards into the crowd. I went in front of him, thinking that it would be easier for him to follow through in my wake. I turned my head every few seconds to make sure that Phil was still close behind me.

We were doing quite well, or so I thought, until I turned and realised that Phil was slightly behind me, but now a couple of people to my left. It was only thanks to my obnoxious tallness that I could actually see him.

I roughly pushed through the people between Phil and I, doing my best to carry on despite the silent anger I felt directed at me through sharp stares and elbows.

Once Phil was about an arm’s length away from me, I could see the extent of his panic. It wasn’t good. He was visibly shaking, and I could see from his expression that he was on the verge of tears.

“Phil,” I called out to him, eventually managing to get right next to him.

Phil turned to meet me, the fear still clear in his eyes.

“Can I put an arm around you?” I asked him, “That way we won’t get split so easily.”

Phil nodded, and I moved my arm so it was snugly around his waist rather than hanging at my side. I didn’t want to have done that without asking, because he might’ve freaked out, thinking it was someone else.

“Try to take deep breaths,” I told him, starting to move forwards again, “I’m going to try my best to get us to the other side.”

As we continued to traverse the crowd, I started to hear things being said about us, the foundations of new rumours being built. There was no doubt that a crowd for another youtuber would have some of our fans in it. We were certainly giving them something to talk about , by having our arms around each other’s waists.

I managed to put the rumours behind me, but I was so tempted to yell at them because I was ‘just trying to help my friend’.

By this point, it was clear that Phil was having a full blown panic attack, but there wasn’t anything I could do to help. The crowd was never ending, and all Phil needed was some space. He had tears on his face, I could hear him crying, and he kept stumbling over his own feet.

Carrying Phil might be an idea, but I’d have to make the decision about whether it was worthwhile. Yes, it might slow us down, but given our current rate of progression, I wasn’t sure that it would make much difference. It would also give Phil the opportunity to focus on his breathing rather than his walking, which struck me as a good idea.

Making my decision, I informed Phil that I was about to pick him up, then gathered him in my arms, hoisting him up so that my hands were under his bum, and he had his legs wrapped around my waist. Once he had settled, with his head resting on my shoulder, I carried on.

I found that this method was more efficient; it was only one joined mass trying to push through the the crowd, rather that two separate ones. People started to part at the sight of one six-foot man carrying another, possibly realising that there was something wrong.

Eventually, the crowd started to peter out, and we were finally somewhere with some breathing room.

“We’re out,” I told Phil, picking up the pace a little, “I’m going to carry you a bit longer until we get to somewhere we can get some peace.”

I kept on going, knowing that if we were to linger, a crowd of fans would form around us. I wasn’t really sure where I could take Phil that was private and would give him some peace to recover.

It wasn’t quite what I’d been planning, but I saw a security guy not far off, and realised that he could probably help us. I changed directions towards him and informed Phil.

“I’ve spotted a security guy,” I told him, “I’m going to see if he can help us.”

I carried Phil all the way to where the security guy was standing, who, by the time we go to him, was following our progress with interest.

“Hi,” I said, a little out of breath from carrying Phil at such a pace, “Could you give us a hand? Phil’s having a panic attack and I need to help him calm down without another crowd forming. Is there somewhere private we could go, or could you at least stop people from gathering around us?”

“Can I see your passes?” He asked, rather demandingly.

I showed him our passes, extracting them from in between our bodies. If we hadn’t needed his help, I would have had a good mind to make a comment about him needing to see our passes to help us. He should help everyone, regardless of their pass type or situation.

“You guys can go to the creator lounge which is through that door at the far end of the hall,” he told us.

“For fuck’s sake, I know that,” I said, no longer being able to control my anger at him, meanwhile trying to rub Phil’s back comfortingly, “Do you not understand the meaning of us needing help because my friend is having a panic attack?”

“I do, but that’s not something I can help you with,” he stated rather bluntly.

Re-adjusting my grip on Phil, I walked away from the unhelpful security guard, towards one wall of the hall, and set Phil down. He was shaking so much that he immediately sank to the floor, tears still falling from his eyes.

I sat down next to him for a minute, comforting him while I tried to figure out what to do. I looked around the vast hall which we were in, trying to figure out where the various doors off it led. Yes, there was the creator lounge, but that was really far away and it would still be full of people. There were toilets a little closer, but they would be equally busy, if not more so.

I turned my attention to Phil, putting an arm back around him and trying to help him with some breathing exercises.

“Is everything okay?” A friendly-sounding voice suddenly said from above.

I looked up, and there was someone in the event helpers t-shirt standing over us.

“Not really… Phil’s having a panic attack and I can’t figure out anywhere calm to take him,” I explained, “Here’s not the best because it’s loud and people will see us and may start crowding around and that won’t help.”

“There’s a quiet room just a few yards away,” she said, “I can help you along there if you want.”

“There is?” I said surprised, “That would be great, though I wish someone had told us these things.”

“They’re not generally advertised, but us and the first aiders look out for people who need some help. Equally, people can ask if they think a quiet space is something they might need,” she said, “Anyway, when you’re ready I’ll show you along.”

I got to my feet, and then offered Phil a hand up. He got to his feet very shakily, and I brought my hand around his waist again to support him. We followed the kind assistant along to the room, which true to her word, was not very far away. It took us less than a minute to get there, and could have been even quicker if Phil had been in a better condition.

The quiet room was a small room off the main hall, which had been kitted out with a few plastic chairs, and a table with bottles of water. Phil immediately plonked himself down on a chair; I grabbed a bottle of water and sat next to him.

“Do you want me to find someone from first aid?” she asked.

“I think we’ll be okay, but could you maybe just hang around for five minutes?” I asked her, “Unless you see someone else needing help, that is.”

“Of course,” she said, “I’ll go outside to give you some peace, but come and find me if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” I thanked her, watching as the door shut behind her, finally leaving Phil and I in peace.

Phil broke down completely now that he had the privacy to do so, turning sideways in his seat and burying his face in my chest.

“Phil, it’s okay. It’s okay now,” I told him, holding him and returning to rubbing his back.

“I,” he hiccupped, “I panicked and I wish I hadn’t but I got separated from you and I couldn’t do it.”

“I know,” I said softly, “But it’s okay now, you’re out of there. Take deep breaths for me, nice and slow, okay?”

Eventually, Phil did manage to calm down a lot, and was able to accept the bottle of water. I had opened it for him, and gave him a hand in holding it steady, but as he slowly took sips of it, he started to look and sound better. After about ten minutes, the crying and unsteady breathing had all but disappeared, and all that remained of the attack were damp red eyes, a runny nose and a bit of shaking.

I opened my bag, and after a bit of digging, I found Phil a packet of tissues. He gently patted dry his cheeks and the area under his eyes, then blew his nose on one of the tissues.

“You feeling a bit better?” I asked him, taking the tissues when he was finished to put them in the bin.

“Quite a lot, yeah,” he confirmed, “I’m still really shaky though.”

“That’s okay,” I told him, “We’ll stay here a little longer, let yourself relax. Do you need a hug?”

“Yeah,” Phil nodes hesitantly, ”T-that would be good.”

I took Phil in my arms and hugged him for a while; I could feel him still shaking, but there wasn’t much I could do about that. At one point, our friendly assistant popped her head back into the room to check that we were doing alright. I told her that everything was under control and that she could go back to doing her duties now. I let her know that Phil and I would be staying in the room for a little bit longer, but he was feeling a lot better now.

In the end we remained there for about half an hour, after which Phil told me he felt okay enough to leave. We headed back outside into the main hall of the event, where there were still overwhelming numbers of people. Fortunately, we hadn’t missed any panels or meet and greets which we were meant to be doing, but we had missed a panel that some of our friends were doing which we had intended to see.

The remainder of the event did prove a challenge for Phil at times, but as long as I was by his side in the crowds, he was more or less okay. He did still suffer from anxiety in those situations, but I did my best to keep him out of them, in attempt to let his anxiety remain at minimum levels. Despite the crowds of people being scary for Phil, I would just have to remind him that he would be okay.


End file.
